It’s cold. It’s gloomy. It hasn’t stopped raining since the Reagan administration. What I need right now is something cheesy. Something I can dip crackers in while catching up on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Something fun to make.

Something like crab dip.

Lucky for me, the crab boats came in a few weeks ago and the city is drowning in crustaceans. While you can always get away with canned crab when you are making a dip, there’s nothing better for getting your stir-craziness out than the satisfying snap and pop as your crack into a tomato-red crab claw.

I chose leeks for this dip because they are more subtle, so the crab flavor can really shine. But feel free to use onions if that’s your thing. You can also leave out the mushrooms or substitute something like cauliflower. I used oyster mushrooms because they have a seafood-like flavor and their texture can stand up to some cheese and crab competition.

I like to toast some sourdough with butter and garlic to use as a conveyer for all the gooey goodness, but crackers and chips work just as well if you are in a hurry.

Apparently, the winter rain makes me not only blue, but lackadaisical about my recipe guidelines as well. Experimentation is half the fun of cooking, right?

BTW, you can read about my shitty day that led to my need* for crab dip here. It involved PASSING THE FUCK OUT.

*As if I ever NEED an excuse for crab dip.

Ingredients for Crab Dip

• 8 ounces cream cheese
• 1 pound of crab (fresh, lump or canned)
• 1 leek
• 1/2 cup chopped mushrooms
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup shredded parmesan or bread crumbs
• 1 cup cheddar cheese
• 2 TB Worcestershire
• 1 TB garlic powder
• 1 tsp red pepper
• 1 TB lime
• 1 TB butter
• Salt
• Pepper

Steps:

Cook the leeks in butter in a skillet or a large French/Dutch oven (if you like doing fewer dishes) over medium heat until they are translucent and fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook for a few minutes more.

Put the mushrooms and leeks in an oven-safe dish and add all the rest of the ingredients, leaving out the bread crumbs or parmesan, and the salt and pepper. Or, if you are using one, add everything into your French/Dutch oven. Stir the ingredients up until they’re combined.

Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes until golden and bubbly.

Top with parmesan or bread crumbs and bake 5 minutes more.

Put in face ohmygodiwantcrabdiprightnow.